I woke up to a text and voice message on my cell phone from my hubby this morning. "I'm fine, alhamdulillah, just in case you hear anything."
So, of course I ran to read the news online and see what close call he had avoided. Mortars landed near where he works, and a couple of people died, about nine were injured. Thankfully, my husband is safe, all praise to God.
It's weird because almost exactly a year ago, the same thing happened, with my husband waking me up in the morning with a phone call, letting me know he was ok, just in case I heard the news. When it happened last year, it took me a couple of days to sink in how close he had been. The roof actually fell in where he worked last year, and there was a lot of smoke and debris, but he and his co-workers were able to make it out in one piece. His accident last year left me with a weird feeling, and a song he used to play as his ring tone farshi al turab kept on replaying in mind. I felt something weird those days, and a week later, Bilal was kidnapped.
Just need to record these days down for a hopefully brighter future, where I can look back on these times with my family and say 'Thank you God for letting us out of it safe and sound."
I always hope that is the case...
Friday, March 28, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
All Roads Lead to Baghdad
Today marks my husband and I's seventh anniversary.
When we were in Baghdad, and mentioned this date to our aunt, she'd proudly remind us that this was the date she gave birth to her beloved son, Bilal. Bilal was born 22 years ago, but he has now become a statistic in this war, one of the hundreds of thousands killed since Saddam was overthrown 5 years ago.
So for me, even when I remember the happiest moments of my life, I am reminded of the misery that has become Baghdad.
Rahmatullahi alayka ya Bilal. For his story, click here.
For an analysis of today's Baghdad, read my husband's post, '5 years.'
When we were in Baghdad, and mentioned this date to our aunt, she'd proudly remind us that this was the date she gave birth to her beloved son, Bilal. Bilal was born 22 years ago, but he has now become a statistic in this war, one of the hundreds of thousands killed since Saddam was overthrown 5 years ago.
So for me, even when I remember the happiest moments of my life, I am reminded of the misery that has become Baghdad.
Rahmatullahi alayka ya Bilal. For his story, click here.
For an analysis of today's Baghdad, read my husband's post, '5 years.'
Saturday, March 22, 2008
5 years!
This month marks the 5th anniversary of the War on Iraq and incidentally it is also our 7th anniversary as a couple. I remember back in 2003 telling Fatima that it would only be 6 months and then we would re-evaluate the situation and make decisions accordingly. I remember insisting on not living in the IZ because I said that if we were there to serve the Iraqi people we have to live among them. Sadly...instead of still living in my house and being proud to be working for Iraq I am now a resident of the Rasheed Hotel and only travel out with armed guards. People talk about the situation improving but I want to mention a few things aside from the media pronouncements. In reality there is a growing problem that is not being addressed. It was evident during the recent visit of President Ahmedinajad and how he was received and the way he announced his visit weeks in advance and toured Baghdad in stark comparison to how VP Cheney and any other US official comes. When Ahmedinajad was here Baghdad was eerily quiet while when VP Cheney was here bombs and mortars were going off. It was also evident when the Iraqi delegation was the only delegation that refused to stand with its Arab neighbors in condemning Iran for occupying the three Emirate Islands. It is evident in our trade relations with Iran as compared to every other country including the US.
I ask myself the question sometime, was it worth it for the United States? The blood and treasure spilled and spent and yet instead of Iraq standing with the US on basic policies it has turned to Iran on every aspect of governance and economy. This is a more fundamental issue than when and should US troops leave Iraq. The answer should be that now that the US has done all of this what does the US want to accomplish and is it working towards that goal or simply calming the situation to placate an anxious and angry US population during an election year. Unfortunately, the one player who has gained the most at the expense of the US and Iraq is Iran, yet interestingly enough either people here fail to see it or fail to do anything about it.
I ask myself the question sometime, was it worth it for the United States? The blood and treasure spilled and spent and yet instead of Iraq standing with the US on basic policies it has turned to Iran on every aspect of governance and economy. This is a more fundamental issue than when and should US troops leave Iraq. The answer should be that now that the US has done all of this what does the US want to accomplish and is it working towards that goal or simply calming the situation to placate an anxious and angry US population during an election year. Unfortunately, the one player who has gained the most at the expense of the US and Iraq is Iran, yet interestingly enough either people here fail to see it or fail to do anything about it.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Uncanny II
I had written in the past about supposed coincidences in Iraq's affairs, well, it has happened yet again. Is it not interesting that suddenly this week bombings and violence have suddenly jumped?! The interesting thing associated with this is that negotiations between the United States and Iraq started this week on a long-term agreement. It just so happens that violence suddenly increases when this starts...uncanny!! It is unfortunate that other nations continue to feel that they have a right to meddle in Iraq's affairs and use Iraq as a place to settle scores. The sad fact is that innocent civilians always pay the price.
On another note, someone asked a while back what it would take for Iraqis to put aside their sub-identities and become Iraqis. The answer is simple, leave Iraqis alone...let Iraqis settle issues between themselves without Iranian, Syrian, and other outside influence and Iraqis will once again bring their nation together.
Finally, people are talking about the decrease in violence as if it is something that is here to stay. Unfortunately the present peace is very fragile because the root causes of violence have yet to be resolved. Militias still infiltrate the Iraqi security and civilian institutions, citizens who have stood up to Alqaeda are being refused entry into Iraq's security services, and true powersharing in governance has yet to happen. These things are the root solutions to many of Iraq's issues and though they may sound easy to resolve, we don't yet have true statesmen who are willing to hold Iraq above their narrow partisan interests to make the difficult decisions.
On another note, someone asked a while back what it would take for Iraqis to put aside their sub-identities and become Iraqis. The answer is simple, leave Iraqis alone...let Iraqis settle issues between themselves without Iranian, Syrian, and other outside influence and Iraqis will once again bring their nation together.
Finally, people are talking about the decrease in violence as if it is something that is here to stay. Unfortunately the present peace is very fragile because the root causes of violence have yet to be resolved. Militias still infiltrate the Iraqi security and civilian institutions, citizens who have stood up to Alqaeda are being refused entry into Iraq's security services, and true powersharing in governance has yet to happen. These things are the root solutions to many of Iraq's issues and though they may sound easy to resolve, we don't yet have true statesmen who are willing to hold Iraq above their narrow partisan interests to make the difficult decisions.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Babies in Baghdad Part I: A Gun in Every Home
I haven't been blogging in a long time mainly because my life situation has changed. I don't live in Baghdad anymore, and blogging was mainly a means for me to record this surreal life that I was leading and, later, to connect with people outside my Baghdad family. I have since grown to *love* blogging, but I can't get myself to record my thoughts here, b/c they aren't 'thoughts from Baghdad' anymore. But I love the Iraqi blogging world too much to start a whole new blog, so I decided that I'm going to start blogging in retrospect, and just recording any thoughts I might be having, ranging mostly from parenting, to parenting, to the three years I lived in Baghdad. It really is unbelievable how those three relatively 'short' years have come to color my life so much, but they really have.
I lived in Baghdad for three years, post-Saddam, and was a mommy for one of those three years. The other day I was thinking about how much my oldest daughter has grown since those days she was running around our house in Baghdad, getting into cupboards, climbing hard marble stairs with really wide railings, and adjusting to the lights turning on and off every few hours.
And then I remembered something about our home in Baghdad, and I thanked God I was out of that situation. My husband and I slept with a loaded gun near his head every night.
He would come home from work every day, go upstairs, change out of his work clothes, and leave his gun on the headboard of our bed. When Sumy started walking on tables, and eventually walking on her own, I lived in eternal fear of that gun. But guns are a fact of life in Baghdad. Since no law was out there protecting us, we had to take matters into our own hands.
We lived with the fear of militias driving up in the middle of the night to our street and rounding up our men. My husband would stay up on certain nights which were 'high alert' nights, and act like he was reading, when in reality he was keeping his ears open to any unusual activity in our part of the world.
And when he went to work, that loaded gun would go with him, again, to protect him. But he didn't leave me home alone. No he didn't, thoughtful husband of mine. He left another little tiny gun at home with me, as if I would ever use it to protect myself. Man, until now, I'm still freaked out by the thought of those guns. Thank God we never had to use them. Though once in the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep, so I very quietly crept out of our bedroom. And in the act of trying not to open the creaking door too much, I knocked over a mirror, which fell on the marble floor and broke. I guess I freaked the living lights out of my sleeping husband, who later told me he reached for his gun.
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day, a friend who is very critical of my husband's presence/work in Baghdad. She told me, "I want to live your husband's life. He's like a Rambo, running around with a gun and bodyguards (he doesn't have bodyguards, but he does have a driver). I was like, 'running around with a gun?! Is that what qualifies him for leading an 'exciting'/Rambo-style life? EVERYONE in Baghdad has a gun in their house, rich or poor. It's just a matter of life, or death...". Unfortunately.
All I can say is, thank God I'm out of a situation where my daughters would have had to live in the same house with guns.
I lived in Baghdad for three years, post-Saddam, and was a mommy for one of those three years. The other day I was thinking about how much my oldest daughter has grown since those days she was running around our house in Baghdad, getting into cupboards, climbing hard marble stairs with really wide railings, and adjusting to the lights turning on and off every few hours.
And then I remembered something about our home in Baghdad, and I thanked God I was out of that situation. My husband and I slept with a loaded gun near his head every night.
He would come home from work every day, go upstairs, change out of his work clothes, and leave his gun on the headboard of our bed. When Sumy started walking on tables, and eventually walking on her own, I lived in eternal fear of that gun. But guns are a fact of life in Baghdad. Since no law was out there protecting us, we had to take matters into our own hands.
We lived with the fear of militias driving up in the middle of the night to our street and rounding up our men. My husband would stay up on certain nights which were 'high alert' nights, and act like he was reading, when in reality he was keeping his ears open to any unusual activity in our part of the world.
And when he went to work, that loaded gun would go with him, again, to protect him. But he didn't leave me home alone. No he didn't, thoughtful husband of mine. He left another little tiny gun at home with me, as if I would ever use it to protect myself. Man, until now, I'm still freaked out by the thought of those guns. Thank God we never had to use them. Though once in the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep, so I very quietly crept out of our bedroom. And in the act of trying not to open the creaking door too much, I knocked over a mirror, which fell on the marble floor and broke. I guess I freaked the living lights out of my sleeping husband, who later told me he reached for his gun.
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine the other day, a friend who is very critical of my husband's presence/work in Baghdad. She told me, "I want to live your husband's life. He's like a Rambo, running around with a gun and bodyguards (he doesn't have bodyguards, but he does have a driver). I was like, 'running around with a gun?! Is that what qualifies him for leading an 'exciting'/Rambo-style life? EVERYONE in Baghdad has a gun in their house, rich or poor. It's just a matter of life, or death...". Unfortunately.
All I can say is, thank God I'm out of a situation where my daughters would have had to live in the same house with guns.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
One Year Older
My baby turned one two days ago. Time flies! Here's a pic of her with my older daughter taken a couple of months ago.
I celebrated by introducing honey on top of her waffle, and she celebrated by tossing her peas and pasta over the side of the high chair. It missed the rug I have under her chair; I miscalculated the trajectory of her throw. O, the joys of being a mommy!
Things are going well, we're still missing baba, who's in Baghdad at the moment. Any prospects of him settling here or me settling there? Not at the moment, but we *hope* for an end in sight.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sunni, Shia, & Kurds
In one of the comments that were left on a prior post it is mentioned that the technocrats are mainly Sunni because Saddam's regime favored them over the others. I want to mention a few historical facts to try and shed light on a common belief that I believe needs to be fixed. Let me start by saying that Saddam Husain is a tyrannical dictator that would not think twice to kill anyone that crossed him or challenged him or posed any risk to his power. He harmed the Iraqi people, Kurd, Shia and Sunni alike and was ruthless in doing so. Saddam was just in one thing and that was distributing his wrath.
To say that his regime was a Sunni regime however is not entirely true. Of the 55 deck of cards that US forces distributed of the senior Iraqi leadership 35 or 36 were Shia. The majority of the Baath Party members were Shia, one of the largest branches of which used to be named Al-Thawra and which many of you now know as Sadr City. What was overturned in 2003 was not a Sunni regime but a tribal or clan based kleptocracy and what truly changed is the Ottoman system that the original Iraqi State was built upon (the remnants of the Ottoman Empire). This system included the officer corps as well as the bourgeoisie and other classes.
In reality, the reason that many of Iraq's middle class was Sunni is a demographic and historic issue more than a political one. The Sunni composed the majority of urban residents in the center and north who were merchants, officers, politicians, etc. whereas the population in the south have historically been rural farmers and marsh dwellers. This is one of the primary reasons that there are specific classes of people. It is also of note that the secular Shia are the ones that lived in places like Kadhmiyyah who were the well off urban class. I am mentioning this to undermine the somewhat simplistic posture of a Saddam's government was a Sunni one. This is not to say that he did not begin a purge of Shia professionals post 1991 after the Intifadha uprising, which he did sometimes with impunity but simultaneously one of the major problems in the Sunni street is its disarray and that is because Saddam killed off all of its effective leadership and did not allow parties to form or other civil society groups, specifically I recall an incident when he gathered some of the prime sheikhs of Anbar and killed them off because they were perceived to be against him.
In the end, these artificial divisions in the Iraqi population have been entrenched to the degree that instead of looking at professional Iraqis as Iraqis we have to refer to them as Sunni, Shia or Kurd, and so long as we do so we will not realize the dream of an advanced Iraq where all can compete fairly based on their ability and not their sectarian or ethnic identity.
To say that his regime was a Sunni regime however is not entirely true. Of the 55 deck of cards that US forces distributed of the senior Iraqi leadership 35 or 36 were Shia. The majority of the Baath Party members were Shia, one of the largest branches of which used to be named Al-Thawra and which many of you now know as Sadr City. What was overturned in 2003 was not a Sunni regime but a tribal or clan based kleptocracy and what truly changed is the Ottoman system that the original Iraqi State was built upon (the remnants of the Ottoman Empire). This system included the officer corps as well as the bourgeoisie and other classes.
In reality, the reason that many of Iraq's middle class was Sunni is a demographic and historic issue more than a political one. The Sunni composed the majority of urban residents in the center and north who were merchants, officers, politicians, etc. whereas the population in the south have historically been rural farmers and marsh dwellers. This is one of the primary reasons that there are specific classes of people. It is also of note that the secular Shia are the ones that lived in places like Kadhmiyyah who were the well off urban class. I am mentioning this to undermine the somewhat simplistic posture of a Saddam's government was a Sunni one. This is not to say that he did not begin a purge of Shia professionals post 1991 after the Intifadha uprising, which he did sometimes with impunity but simultaneously one of the major problems in the Sunni street is its disarray and that is because Saddam killed off all of its effective leadership and did not allow parties to form or other civil society groups, specifically I recall an incident when he gathered some of the prime sheikhs of Anbar and killed them off because they were perceived to be against him.
In the end, these artificial divisions in the Iraqi population have been entrenched to the degree that instead of looking at professional Iraqis as Iraqis we have to refer to them as Sunni, Shia or Kurd, and so long as we do so we will not realize the dream of an advanced Iraq where all can compete fairly based on their ability and not their sectarian or ethnic identity.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Uncanny!
It is uncanny! The night I wrote about Baghdad being too quiet I was awakened by the sound of an explosion. That day I was thinking that I knew something was wrong and today again the sound of another explosion rocking western Baghdad. What is sad is not that not only do these explosions continue, but that the people pay the price for the politicians' recalcitrance. It is also interesting that the press today is reporting that the embassy is trying to understand this lull and the Iranian role, while it should be crystal clear, they figure the bombing campaign did not work through the summer to get troops out, the best way to do it now is to make people feel that they have won by calming the situation so that people will call for the troops to leave. It seems to me that this should be realpolitik 101. It will also be interesting to see how the different political groups will react when the longer term security agreement needs to be signed between the US and Iraq. I believe it will be then that US diplomats will see where political loyalties really stand.
The government continues to show its sectarian nature and yet it seems as people turn a blind eye to it. The question is can the present political class navigate Iraq out of its present rough political waters? The answer is clearly no...I believe it will take a new generation of people who can get past their sectarian differences and look for the good of the country. The reality is now all are vying to shape the new Iraq and unless something dramatically changes this will continue for the next 5-7 years until the new political order and system in Iraq is set. Sunnis feel they can reverse some of the damage that the Shia Ideologues have done and Shia want to cement the system where they rule as religious ideologues and not as platform politicians and the Kurds are content to see the instability continue so that they can continue to build Kurdistan at the expense of the rest of Iraq. The United States probably wants political disarray so that it can gain the best arrangement for long term agreements in Iraq and Iran continues to play the political groups against one another in a grotesque divide and conquer strategy. All of this is happening at the back door to the Gulf countries who seem completely oblivious to what a Shia religious state in Iraq would mean to their security.
Sorry for the incongruence of thoughts, these were a few thoughts that came to mind as I was reading through some government paperwork...
The government continues to show its sectarian nature and yet it seems as people turn a blind eye to it. The question is can the present political class navigate Iraq out of its present rough political waters? The answer is clearly no...I believe it will take a new generation of people who can get past their sectarian differences and look for the good of the country. The reality is now all are vying to shape the new Iraq and unless something dramatically changes this will continue for the next 5-7 years until the new political order and system in Iraq is set. Sunnis feel they can reverse some of the damage that the Shia Ideologues have done and Shia want to cement the system where they rule as religious ideologues and not as platform politicians and the Kurds are content to see the instability continue so that they can continue to build Kurdistan at the expense of the rest of Iraq. The United States probably wants political disarray so that it can gain the best arrangement for long term agreements in Iraq and Iran continues to play the political groups against one another in a grotesque divide and conquer strategy. All of this is happening at the back door to the Gulf countries who seem completely oblivious to what a Shia religious state in Iraq would mean to their security.
Sorry for the incongruence of thoughts, these were a few thoughts that came to mind as I was reading through some government paperwork...
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
It is too quiet!!!
Everyone inside and outside Iraq is talking about the renewed security in Baghdad and the significant drop in violence. People attribute it to the surge that has taken its course and increased the presence of forces on the streets of Baghdad and other places, while others also cite the better training of the Iraqi security forces and the Baghdad security plan. I think it is a combination of many factors but one issue continues to bother me at the back of my mind. The security plan started in February and the surge started in May/June (the real surge when troops had actually arrived), violence levels spiked in May, June, July, August, and September and then very suddenly as if a light switch had been turned off, subsided! This was coupled with a sudden absence of mortar and rocket fire on the Green Zone. I can't help to think this is someone playing with Iraq's destiny. Someone figured upping the violence during the months before the Crocker/Petraeus report would hurt the Americans politically and now they may have figured calming the situation is the best way to get them to leave. Calls have already started for US troops to withdraw and the media is reporting that the PM is considering lifting the nightly ban on vehicles. It does not make sense...please don't misunderstand, I as well as many Iraqis are happy to see Iraq return to normal and for US troops to return safely to their families but this just doesn't feel right and I hope that it is not another twist in the unending saga of the ebb and flow of violence and politics in Iraq.
I think people should take a more sober look at the situation and not be overly optimistic because the fundamental issues that stoke the violence have yet to be resolved. The violence was a manifestation of the political power contest for the right to lay the foundations of the "New Iraq" it happened in a zero-sum political environment where instead of working together to forge a new vision for the country, groups would think that if a political opponent gained it automatically meant their loss. This situation has not yet entirely changed among the present political class in Iraq. Granted there may be a sense of exhaustion by many but I don't believe the underlying problems that helped fuel the violence in Iraq have been resolved and therefore a greedy neighbor or other power wishing to capitalize can easily play one group against the other and reignite the violence. The real resolution to this problem can only come in the form of a political resolution akin to India's framing of a several hundred page constitution where all had a say; a system where all felt enfranchised and felt that at least they had equal opportunity because of their citizenship and not their sub ethno-sectarian identities. I may be thinking idealistically, but realistically if Iraqis can come together and realize a common vision and start talking economic, social, and health policy we will take a step towards building a functional state and truly eliminating the need for political, ethnic, or sectarian violence by eliminating its source.
I think people should take a more sober look at the situation and not be overly optimistic because the fundamental issues that stoke the violence have yet to be resolved. The violence was a manifestation of the political power contest for the right to lay the foundations of the "New Iraq" it happened in a zero-sum political environment where instead of working together to forge a new vision for the country, groups would think that if a political opponent gained it automatically meant their loss. This situation has not yet entirely changed among the present political class in Iraq. Granted there may be a sense of exhaustion by many but I don't believe the underlying problems that helped fuel the violence in Iraq have been resolved and therefore a greedy neighbor or other power wishing to capitalize can easily play one group against the other and reignite the violence. The real resolution to this problem can only come in the form of a political resolution akin to India's framing of a several hundred page constitution where all had a say; a system where all felt enfranchised and felt that at least they had equal opportunity because of their citizenship and not their sub ethno-sectarian identities. I may be thinking idealistically, but realistically if Iraqis can come together and realize a common vision and start talking economic, social, and health policy we will take a step towards building a functional state and truly eliminating the need for political, ethnic, or sectarian violence by eliminating its source.
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