Life Happens Wherever We Are

Life happens wherever a person lives, at any time, and in all circumstances.

I think I have to write more about my tutoring work when I lived in Baghdad, but till then, here's another sad story i recently learned about the second of my four students (2 out of 4!).

F was my youngest student, a cool Iraqi youth in his mid-twenties who'd learned English during his travels with his family. He had just gotten engaged when I knew him, and had just gone through a tough, tough bit in life, where he'd faced attempted execution by the forces to be and escaped alive with a bullet wound through the neck. While driving to work, he found his car being followed by men who blocked him off, drove up to him and shot at him. He maintained his composure and drove away from his assailants, and alhamdulillah, survived, intact.

I got to know him after this bit in his life, where he was forced to switch jobs b/c of the situation. He was quiet, talked to me about what had happened on the passing. Perhaps he thought I already knew about it, perhaps he thought the entire world must've known what happened to him that day. I was shocked out of my mind, he never even told me where the bullet wound had been, but I learned that later, from my husband, just a few weeks ago when I found out the rest of F's story.

While I was tutoring Firas, he had been interested in taking the TOEFL's and applying for graduate studies elsewhere. That's when I left him.

Four years later, my husband met one of his old colleagues who told him the story of the kid who escaped death in Baghdad, made it to the Sorbonne for his PhD studies and was able to get his family out of Baghdad and into the US on a special visa.

And that's where the rest of the sadness continues. F's mom left her homeland with all its dangers along with the rest of F's family, only to face her own violent death in good ole' New York. Apparently she was at a clinic when a crazy gunman walked in and started shooting. She was one of the casualties. Allah yirhamha and may He give patience to poor F and his mourning family. She came here looking for a better life, but couldn't escape one of America's saddest realities, unexplainable violence.

Finding Out Two Years Later

Its been forever, and I hate coming on just to post sadness, but I guess grief is what moves us.

When I lived in Baghdad, I worked for a few months as an English language tutor for Iraqis who worked in the American embassy. (My work there and my Iraqi families reactions is a whole other post).

One of my four students was a big man named Dhahir. He was my most formal student, a man with much promise. He loved speaking English in eloquent, flairy ways, and I tried to get him to be more down to earth, more casual. But this was his way. And he was an ambitious man.

After I left my job, my husband was looking to hire Iraqis with a strong background in what Dhahir was good at. I told him about the opportunity and he went to interview at my husband's office. We exchanged emails a few times afterwards and on occasions, and he was always his friendly self.

A few years ago, I emailed him and did not hear back from him. I blamed it on being out of touch and not having his new email address.

And then Yahoo mail changed and added its in-mail chat feature. And I found Warkaa, one of my old students and chatted with her. Dhahir had been killed two years ago. I couldn't believe it. That's why my emails had gone unanswered. Ahhhh, the agony his young wife and daughter must still be going through.
Warkaa told me he had quit his job with them and gone on to form his own business, contracting with the Americans. In the year 2007, the same year Bilal was killed, and perhaps Baghdad's worst year, Dhahir was killed by similiar evil hands. Allah yirhamak ya Dhahir. Perhaps I found out two years later so that you could have a new set of people praying for you after others may have forgotten.
I still can't believe I'm writing about one of my own student's deaths. O Baghdad, may your tears and blood be stilled.

CBS 60 Minutes Piece on Palestine/Israel

This is the most amazing piece I have seen on a mainstream American media about the reality of the situation in Palestine/Israel. It's definitely a must-see.



Please watch it today.

Elections are Close

And the pathetic intimidation begins. Iraq is getting ready for provincial elections, and there is still a small group out there that thinks they can keep people from joining in the government based on some notion that its a false government, a toy of the occupation.
A friend of ours is running for a the Baghdad provincial council (is that what it's called?) for the IIP (sunni Islamic Iraqi Party). She's a female in her fifties, with grown children. Today, a car drove by her house and shot at the only female in sight, the intended assassinee's sister in law. She was killed in this cowardly act of violence against a woman, for no reason but that she was thought to be running for a government seat.
These crazies need to wake up and stop their foolish game of scare tactics, death and fear mongering. They need to realize that God is not on their side, He is not on the side of violence, of death, of killing, of orphaning, of widowing, of foolishness.

My View of the Inauguration

I was really lucky to make it to Obama's inauguration on the national mall, though I didn't get to see him in person. The experience of being out there with at least 1 million fellow human beings was in itself a grand event. Celebrating Obama's inauguration was another. I tried to capture some of the excitement of the day with my camera, tried to capture some of the feeling of multitudes of humans out there at one time, in one place.

More on what I thought of the inauguration to follow in another post, inshaAllah.

I was standing near the Monument, near a hill, and I think this picture shows the crowds the best.


Emotions.



I got to watch the inauguration on a large screen jumbo-tron, out in freezing weather, but it was worth it. This was right after "President-Elect" became "President" Obama. The crowd went wild. Released all their tension from the previous years. I didn't realize that so many other ppl felt that way till I heard Bush, Cheney and everyone related to them get boo-ed like crazy every time they came on screen.


Trying to get home after the event was a study in crowd control. Seriously. 100,000 strong stuck in unmoving human traffic. This man is directing traffic from atop the porta potties. At least attempting to.

Thank You Bush (or not)

I was thinking a few days before Bush's last day, seriously thinking about whether in twenty years, Iraqis will be grateful for what he and Cheney have done to their country. Because right now, all I can see is the blood of many, and its so hard to see through Bilal's blood, through A and A and U's kidnapping, through my distance from my husband, the greatness that should have come from overthrowing a tyrant.

I still don't know how I feel about it.

I remember when Saddam was first thrown out, people were hurt, but it had not yet reached home for us and our family. The most tangible thing we saw from it was that Aunt N's husband was finally able to come home from exile, where 7 years earlier he had fled Iraq in disguise and on foot through the mountains, because of Saddam's promise to hang him for a 'transgression' he had not committed. He was finally able to come home to his children who were now men and women, and to his wife who he had left years ago. He was finally able to leave the tough, difficult life of a refugee.
So we were thankful, albeit sad that a country had to be thrown into war and death for this to happen.

And then, Baghdad became unbearable, but it was still worth it. Sahar's husband was kidnapped but he returned. Uncle S was kidnapped, but he returned. All with God's will, and we were so thankful.

And Baghdad grew worse.

We could not leave our homes after five, we could not visit our grandmother in Adhamiya because of the danger of travelling there, we could hardly visit any family members who did not live on our street or in our immediate community. Eid celebrations were confined to a small alley way in Baghdad, children's play was confined to homes, and fathers slept at night with guns besides their heads.

And then the boys were taken. Three young men, living in the house right in front of us, our relatives through Aunt N's husband, were kidnapped. And they did not return. Nor their bodies. Only promises and hopes that they might still be out there, two and a half years later. Their children born after their kidnapping left to grow up wondering why other children had fathers and they did not.

And our other neighbor, of a different sect, was killed in his shop. And our uncle in law's brother was killed in our neighborhood.

And then, Bilal was taken. And killed. And his body was recovered and buried by his Babby, the first one to join his grandfather, and be his companion after death.

And then, Bush's war did not seem to make it anymore. It did not seem to weigh more heavily than these young men's death. It did not seem to make up for all this blood spilt, all these tears shed, all this heartbreak and agony and permanent scarring of our young children. My heart still cries when I think of Bilal and the others, how can I imagine Aunt N's tears and heart break?

And yet, I still do wonder if Iraq will be on track in 25 years, and people will look back on these days and say they were the individual sacrifices needed to free 18 million men and women from the prison Saddam had them in. I wonder, but I can not say that I have seen that day yet, nor felt it with my heart. Perhaps one day, we will thank you Bush for what you did.

But that day is not today.

Travesty

What's happening in Gaza is a travesty. I haven't had time to blog in so long, but Gaza is on our minds. We've held a couple of Nights of Prayer for Gaza in our area and lots of rallies. Today is The Big One, in Lafayette Park in front of the White House.

May God bring peace and justice to every land.
May Palestinians have their freedom and their land.
May they feel secure in their own homes.
May their injured find medicine and electricity to get better.
And may injustice fall in every form.

fatima

Sleet in Baghdad

The hubby sent me these pics from a recent sleet storm in Baghdad. Quite interesting.
Enjoy!

Pops is Heading to Hajj

After 63 years of living, 33 years of living in America, years and years of watching his teenage son and daughter head to the Holy Land before him, and years of me praying and praying for him being able to make it to Mecca, Baba is finally heading out in a couple of days inshaAllah. Thank you , O God.
I'm so happy for you dear baba, may you make it through the rituals safely and come back in excellent health, and may you be healed of your ailment.

Fatima

Touchy Thought

So, I've been thinking this thought for a long time now, but it's not really an important thought, nor one that will result in anything fruitful, so I hesitate to write it down.
I have never been so proud in my life, nor felt so much like I belonged to this country, as I did on the night of November 4th, 2008, when Barack Obama was overwhelmingly voted in as the new president of this great nation.
I did not believe it possible that majority white, small town, elderly America was ready to vote in a black man, where a short 40 years ago, it fought to keep the black man from the ballot. But I am so proud that there is a new generation that has overwhelmingly overcome this issue. I am so happy.
But then I think to myself, if Barack had 'really' been a black man, had been black from his mother and his father, would he have been so easy to vote in? If he looked like the African American next door, would white America, Latino America, female America, been ready for him?
I fear that this is an almost dangerous, worthless question to bring up, but it sometimes stirs in my mind.
U S A!