Where Weddings are No More

My cousin in law is the fourth of four sisters, the last one left at home in Adhamiya after her other sisters have left Baghdad- two for Syria, one in Mosul. Hiba has been engaged now for about six months to a man from Mosul. Yesterday on the phone with my grandmother in law, I found out that Hiba's fiancee is coming next week to take her to her new home, with no wedding party to celebrate their marriage.
Adhamiya has become too dangerous for any type of celebration to occur, too dangerous for cousins to visit cousins and aunts to visit nieces and celebrate with them. With rockets and mortars raining down on them daily, all Hiba can hope for is to leave her father's home in one piece. Perhaps then she can celebrate her marriage in Mosul with her in-laws. Without her sisters, her parents or dear grandmother.

Who's Next?-UPDATE

It bothers me to constantly report bad news coming out from Baghdad, but that's the harsh reality that people are living through there. Last week, when my husband wrote me about his encounter with a poor corpse in the street, he also informed me of another friend's kidnapping.
This time, my good friend's brother in law was kidnapped from in front of his house in Ghazaliya, with his wife and friend helplessly looking on. Its been almost ten days, with no news of this young man. No news is not good news in Iraq.
I remember seeing his young wife a couple of days before I left Baghdad, with her husband and their new 2 month old daughter, and their older three year old daughter. At that time, she had no idea what was being hidden for her in her future. Now she waits for news, dead or alive of her husband. May God be with her and her family.
Every time something like this hits close to home, it makes me wonder who's next. It makes me hope that God saves my husband and family from such evil and horror. Because in the end, it seems to be such a random game, targeting anyone and anything. You just pray and hope that it doesn't touch you in the center of your heart and home.

UPDATE: The kidnappers have contacted the family, which is a good sign, and are demanding a one million dollar ransom(!). The family obviously doesn't have that kind of money, so they are in the process of negotiating a lower ransom for his life.

Driving in Baghdad

In the last months before I left Baghdad, seeing dead bodies thrown in the street became a regular aspect of life for many people. Thankfully, I was spared this horrific scene. My husband was telling me about his horrible experience the other day, while driving to work. He told me that his driver lost it when he almost ran over the unfortunate soul thrown in the middle of the street, exclaiming that he was leaving this country where a human had no more worth. Here are some of my husband's thoughts on this horrific scene:

"You know you got me thinking....it is sad that a country can stoop so low so as to not even bother burying its dead...it is sad that someone can be stripped of humanity to the degree of killing someone in cold blood and instead of hiding their heinous crime they display it on the streets for all to see....it is sad that we have reached a low where the killer knows not why he killed, and the killed knows not why he was killed....it is sad that in the West an animal is given the respect and dignity of being buried whilst a human being is simply dumped in the middle of the road for all to see....the saddest thing is that we have all lost the courage to stand up to the barbarians and say this is wrong. We are therefore all to blame as we drive by all detesting and no one protesting it....

As I drove to work this morning also (a few days after seeing the first body), a body was dumped right in front of (our neighborhood) bakery, his hands bound and a bag placed over his head. This man was probably a father, a son, a husband to someone who will not only not know the fate of their loved one but may not be able to bury them and go visit them in death."

Signs of a Dying City IV

Can't Even Say Good-Bye

I wasn't fully moved by 24's post on a cousin leaving Baghdad until a similar situation happened in our family. Just about the time I was looking for a flight out of Baghdad, I heard the news that Aunt W and her family were leaving Baghdad for Syria. I was shocked by that news.
Aunt W has always been a cornerstone in the family. It was at her house that we spent our first weeks in Baghdad while we were looking for a place of our own; it was at her house that the family gathered for Eid celebrations; it was at her house that we went to chill when we needed a change of pace. She was the one who mainly took care of my grandmother in law, who drove her around, made sure her needs were met. And in early December 2006, we got the call that she had finally had it; they were leaving their beloved homeland and families within a matter of days.
Aunt W lived at the border of Adhamiya/Seleikh. The final straw for them came after the Sadr City car bombings, when the family got numerous calls from friends to leave their home, who feared for their safety against reprisal attacks. Aunt W had already faced having her husband's office damaged by a nearby bomb, had faced having a son arrested by the Iraqi army, had seen numerous friends' husbands and sons disappear and die. The only thing she could think of was being slaughtered in her own home. She could take no more.

What is so significant about this story is two things. First of all, that people who are so settled in their homes, in their lands, are forced to leave is a huge misfortune and hardship. Imagine right now that you have to leave your comfortable, newly furnished house in Anytown, USA because suddenly, it isn't safe to live there anymore. What do you do with your home? You can't sell it for a profit, you can't sell your furniture for a profit; everyone else is leaving town, and no one wants to buy. You end up losing everything, and moving to a new, unknown world, with no friends, no relatives. It's difficult.

The other thing that struck me about Aunt W's leaving is that we could not even say our goodbyes to her. The situation has become so bad in Baghdad, that many people are choosing not to travel to different parts of the city, fearing for their lives. We couldn't hold a farewell party for her, we couldn't even drop by for five minutes of goodbyes. One day, she just up and left Baghdad, after making her phone calls to her sisters, mother, nieces and nephews.
And the same thing happened with me when I left Baghdad. In the summer time, when I came to the States for a visit, I made my rounds to the relatives, for a short goodbye. This time around, when I will likely not go back for a long while, I could not make those rounds. I could not visit our grandmother in Adhamiya to bid her farewell; and I don't know when I will next see her, if I will ever see her again.
The best summary of the situation there was seen in the eyes of my 25 year old cousin in law, who travelled with me by airplane from Iraq to Amman. She has also left the country, to complete her medical studies in Jordan. In the car, on the way to the airport, she sat with her 8 month old daughter in her hands, wiping silent tears from her eyes. She was saying goodbye to her beloved family, and to her beloved Baghdad, which had been so changed by this last war. She did not know when she would next see her Baghdad, and she did not know what it would be like next time she saw it.
Farewell Baghdad, from all your loving countrymen.

Washington Post Article on Childbirth in Iraq

I read this Washington Post article on the childbirth situation in Iraq ("Iraq's Woes are Adding Major Risks to Childbirth"). I thought it was pretty much on the spot, and related very much to my entry from a couple of weeks ago.

Happy Eid

I wanted to wish everyone a joyful Eid Al Adha and a happy holiday season.

I'm happy to be celebrating here with my family, the first time in four years. But my heart feels for my family in Iraq, which has been reduced to three families living in three different, dangerous parts of Baghdad. There will be no family gathering this Eid.

On the subject of Saddam Hussein, I still can't believe that they hung him on the first day of Eid. Quite distasteful, quite blood-thirsty, very wrong. Like they're handing him over on a gold plate to one group of Iraqis, and completely throwing the plate in the faces of the others. Making Eid a double Eid for some, and a bloody Eid for the others. So wrong.

Signs of a Dying City III

Doctor Shortage
So, I'm finally settled down here in my parents' house, have been for almost a week now. Why did I suddenly leave Baghdad? It's actually because I'm expecting my second child in a couple more months, and I'm a bit too spoiled to deliver a child in Baghdad's hospital system. Here's just some info on what the health system is like there now:

When I went back to Baghdad in October, I looked up my old doctor to go see her. She had received a threat from some unknown groups, stopped practicing, and was looking to leave the country. I looked up a few other doctors I knew, and the same story was repeated each time, "Misafra"- 'she's travelling.' I knew of four different young women, all well into their pregnancies, who were receiving no prenatal care, because their doctors had stopped practicing or left the country. One of those women has since given birth to a healthy girl, the other one is expecting any day now. Again, all without any prenatal care.

This seems to be the new trend in Baghdad. So many middle-class citizens are leaving the country because of the situation. And so many of these are doctors. Not only are they leaving because of the bombs and kidnappings around them, but because alot of these assassinations and kidnappings are targetting Iraq's educated men and women, especially doctors. It's a sad situation which is leaving people with few choices. Iraq's hospitals, which were in a sad position during the embargo years, seem to have slipped even further into third-world status, with few good doctors sticking around.

Wada'an Baghdad

My daughter and I have said our good-byes to Baghdad. We're in Amman for a few short days, and then heading home to my family in the States. I'll post again when I'm settled.

Signs of a Dying City II

Deteriorating Education System, (to say the least):

This whole school year has been a joke so far, with students attending less than half of the normal school days (curfews, security situation, etc). But I think the greatest bomb of all was dropped this past week on college students who still held out hope of finishing the school year.
I saw my neighbor 'U', a senior at Baghdad University, outside our house today. Neither her nor her brother had attended university today. Apparently, a 'warning' has been given to college students not to attend university for the rest of the school year, as certain students would be targetted for their affiliation with 'death squads' and different militias. Following is a rough translation of the letter, which has been circulating by email and left at different locations. I also heard that large signs around town are announcing this 'news'.
The problem here is not whether or not this letter is authentic, but that it is able to hold power over students and professors alike. 'U' was telling me that she attended university the first couple of days of this week (with knowledge of the threat), but few other students or professors (!) attended. People are scared, and they are taking heed of this lawless group's ridiculous demands. Chaos at its best.

Translation:
To our dear teachers and students at all Baghdad universities and colleges
Final Warning:
In order to protect your blood from the crimes committed by the Maliki government and its death squads... these death squads which have killed, murdered and targeted especially the Sunni students and professors... It is at these universities that the death squads have found a safe haven from which to carry out their attacks against ahlul Sunnah. From these universities scholars and warriors graduated, and at these same places they are being killed.
For this reason, we have decided ... to cancel the rest of the 2006-2007 school year for undergraduate and graduate students at all Baghdad universities and colleges (!!!)... to (1.) protect the blood of our scholars and students and (2.) to purify these institutions from all death squads. We will not be satisfied until we have brought security to them. Elementary, middle and high school students, as well as college students outside of Baghdad are not included in this decision (!).
For this reason, we ask our Sunni and Shiite (those who do not belong to any party) professors and students to avoid attending university completely for the rest of this school year for their protection. We give them three days to finish any business they have at their universities... We know that not attending institutions of knowledge is a painful ordeal, but the killing and murder of scholars is more painful. We also know that Sunni students and professors, as well as the Shiite 'commoners' will heed this warning... .
...
Today we will avenge our scholars. ... We will choose the time and place to attack you, in your homes, and on your beds and in your schools... You will continue to live in fear until your time comes... We hope that this school year does not end until we have destroyed each one of you (death squad/militia members).
We repeat our words to all Sunnis and to whoever desires to save himself; stay away from the death squads and militias, which have taken universities as their safe haven. Leave the battle to wage between us.
Ansar al Sunnah Group


Again, I don't know how authentic this letter is, I don't know if someone is playing a sad joke on Baghdad or not, I don't know if someone is trying to 'frame' this group or not, but I do know that this letter has had its effect on Baghdad university students. Even if they decide to ignore it and go to class, they find that no one else is attending, neither student nor teacher. Measures need to be taken to bring security to these institutions, or Baghdad will slowly die through the destruction of its coming generation of scholars.

Signs of a Dying City I

I hate describing Baghdad as a dying city, but that's truly the feeling that passes through me as I drive down the streets of this once busy city. I took these pictures on different Saturday afternoons, all during the past month or so. This was once (not very long ago), one of the busiest streets in Baghdad, the 14th of Ramadan Street in the Mansour area. Now, as you drive down this street in the middle of the day, at least three fourths of the shops are closed down! Only a random store here and there opens, and some of them open for just a few hours, closing down by 1 or 2 pm. It was really sad for me especially during Eid season to drive down this street (and others in Baghdad) and to find it looking like a ghost town.
Shop owners have either been threatened to shut down, killed for opening, or felt the danger of opening shop with an army search point parked in front of their stores (attracts car bombs/ etc). Business has come to a halt and many of these merchants have left town.